


Happy Werewolf, Sleepy Werewolf

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Accidents, Big Bang Theory references, Derek Hale is a good person, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Soft Kitty song, loopy Stiles, muscle relaxers/pain killers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4109479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>UNBEAT'd</p><p>After this, Stiles thinks, he's going to start putting everyone's names in his phones as goofy nicknames all starting with a different letter, so that things like this can be prevented in the future</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Stiles attempts to call Scott to take him to the hospital and accidentally calls Derek instead</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Werewolf, Sleepy Werewolf

**Author's Note:**

> UNBETA'd
> 
> Another drabble cross-posted from my DeviantART, because these two are such goobers I swear

It was his own fault

His dad had been after him for months to get something to put on the bottom of the shower so people wouldn't slip

He kept putting it off, mainly due to his forgetfullness

And now he was paying for it

Hissing lowly and wimpering, he looked around for any kind of long device he could use

Finally he eyed his dad's back scratcher and reached up- groaning and squealing the entire time- to grab it

Sure he'd never erase the idea of _his dad's back scratcher_ touching his phone but he was out of options

Reaching with his good arm, he maneuvered the thing around until he finally managed to hook the belt loop of his jeans from the towel basket and gave them a jerk

He breathed a sigh of releif when they landed on the floor and he didn't hear a snap, crackle, and pop from his phone

Dragging them forward, he carefully held them up and made a quick move to snatch them before they fell in the water and grabbed his phone

His other shoulder was in too much pain for him to bother double checking his contacts list before scrolling down to "M" and pressing the first number there

He waited... waited... waited.... the second the reciever picked up he started talking

"You've gotta help me man! I slipped in the shower and dislocated my shoulder! I am naked and in pain and gonna pass out if you don't get your fuzzy werewolf butt over here and get me to the hospital holy HELL MUFFINS this hurts!" he nearly screamed

There was a very long pause and for a moment Stiles thought he got disconnected

"I'll be right there," came a deep, gruff, voice on the other end

The call ended and with it Stiles' ability to retain warmth

Worriedly, he pulled the phone away and stared at the sceen

"Call ended with Derek Hale" it said

He went back to his contacts and immediately found the problem

 _McCall_ was third down, underneath _Martin_ ..... and _Hale_.....

He supposed, for the most breif of moments, that atleast he was lucky his thumb hadn't caught Lydia's number

But then he realized that _Derek Hale_ was coming to get a very naked him out of the still-going shower where he was completely naked and help him get dressed so he could go to the hospital...

He dropped his phone onto his jeans, wich were in a pile on the floor, and screamed

~+~

Of the fifteen minutes it took for Derek to get to the Stilinski household Stiles spent the first five wondering what he had ever done that was so bad that karma felt this was a necessary course of action

The next five minutes he spent trying to distract himself and trying to turn the water off with the back scratcher, it didn't work

The last five minutes he spent in a shower that was now as cold as ice (thanks in part to the amount of time it had been going and in part to Stiles' failed attempt at turning it off, instead managing only to turn the cold dial instead) and wondering what the worst case scenario could be here

The worst, he decided, would be that Derek would take advantage of the fact that the shower had run cold and tease Stiles for the rest of his life (and the foreseeable after life) about the effects of said cold shower and then call someone else (probbably someone like Lydia or Malia, just to keep the torture going) to come and fetch him as he laughed

Admittedly, it wasn't a PLAUSIBLE idea, but it was by far the worst

Well the WORST would be if Derek took a video or a picture but he knew for a fact that Derek was as good with smart phones as a goat so he was pretty safe there

The best scenario, he decided, would be Derek holding a hand over his eyes, opening the bathroom door, and throwing clothes at him, leaving Stiles to fend for himself as he struggled to get them on and limp to the door, where Derek would silently drive him to the hospital and drop him off

Stiles prayed for that scenario

"Stiles? Stiles where are you!?" he heard

He took a deep breath

Here it was

The moment of truth

A life time (and after life time?) of agony or a breif twenty minutes of struggle followed by a car ride that was awkward in a way that only Derek Hale could present

"I'm in here!" Stiles called

He jumped slightly when seconds later the door nob started to turn

"N-No don't come in! I'm naked!" he shouted

"...Yeah, I know, you kind of expressed that on the phone, how am I supposed to help you out of the bath if you don't want me to come in?"

"...You'd help me out?" he asked quietly, although loud enough for any werewolf outside of a thin bathroom door to hear

"You dislocated your shoulder? Then yes, what did you think? That I'd slide clothes through a crack in the door, drive you to the hospital and push you out into the parkinglot?"

He sounded disgruntled with this for some reason

"... Not EXACTLY...."

"Would you please give me permission to come in?" he sighed loudly

"Y-Yeah... alright... come in," he muttered, closing his eyes tightly as Derek opened the door and walked in

"How long did it take for you to call me?" he asked as he walked over and turned off the cold water

"Oh thank GOD..." Stiles grumbled with a shiver, curling into himself as much as he could considering he was already practically a balled up version of himself

"I don't know, like... ten minutes? I wanted to make sure it was really dislocated and not just bruised," he explained, peeking out as Derek went to grab a towel from the basket

"You should have called sooner," he said as he tossed a towel at him

Stiles sighed, doing his best to wrap it around his hips with one arm

"I was trying to call Scott, FYI, hit your number by mistake, I didn't MEAN to bother you in your all-important-life of solitude and brooding," he snapped

"Who said I was bothered? Besides, Scott is out with Kira remember? HE would have been bothered," he explained, picking up Stiles stray clothes and pausing, holding them up pinched between his thumb and index finger

"You couldn't get these in the hamper? REALLY?"

"I didn't want to put my phone on the sink! Last time I did it fell and got cracked, and I hate putting jeans on with my phone already in the pocket,"

"Did you find it that important to bring your phone along for your journey into the shower?" he sighed as he tossed the clothes away and set the phone on top of the towels

"It helped me out didn't it?"

"....Fine, where are your clean clothes?"

"Dresser, shirts first drawer, underwear and socks share the second, pants in the third,"

Derek gave a small nod and walked over to him, extending his hand

"Let me know if I touch anywhere sensitive," he said with an unusually gentle air as he carefully placed one hand on Stiles' ribcage and the other took hold of his opposite hand

The restraint it took not to make about two hundred jokes was equal to the restraint it took not to scream when he moved his arm

"You're good man," he said with a quick inhale

Derek gave a small nod and pulled him up, his hands lingering for a moment to make sure he was balanced before helping him step onto the tile

"I think I'm gonna have to get treated for hypothermia," he grumbled as Derek handed him a couple more towels and helped him get them secure

"Good thing we're going to a hospital then isn't it?"

"Fair," he muttered, following Derek like a stray puppy as he walked into the bedroom and started going through his drawers (ha! If this was any other day and Stiles was in any less pain he'd be making jokes left and right by now!)

"How often do you do laundry?" Derek frowned, tossing a pair of sweat pants and boxers at Stiles

"Um... well my dad usually does laundry and I do the dishes... I don't know, why?"

"Because the only clean shirt you have is one you probbably wore in the third grade," he sighed

"Great, topless E.R. trip here I come,"

"No- you're freezing, you need to warm up,"

Derek paused, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before starting to remove his leather jacket and the Henley he was wearing underneath

"Um, Dud-"

"Werewolves are banks of body heat so just shut up and let me do this," he muttered

~+~

The fifteen minutes that followed were the most awkward of Stiles' life, trying to follow Derek's instructions as the werewolf helped him into his clothes (he tried to keep his eyes closed when he was helping Stiles into his boxers but when the younger male started to lean and tip over he grabbed him... and well... he saw things...)

Now here they were in the hospital, a nice ten minutes after that, with Stiles sitting in the waiting room unconsciously inhaling Derek's scent off of his clothes and waiting for his buddy to get done with the registration

Of all times for Melissa to be in the back and not front and center...

"Here," Derek muttered, handing Stiles a Reeses from the vending machine and sitting down with his legs crossed, one leg over his nee, filling out the forms

"Thanks," he smiled slightly, tearing the papper open with his teeth and trying to maneuver the candy out of the little papper cup

Derek only took a second before, without glancing up, he snatched the candy, peeled the papper cup off, and slipped the chocolate back into Stiles' mouth

"Thanks," he mumbled again with his mouth full

Derek just grunted some symbalance of a reply and went back to the forms

Stiles was honestly surprised at how long it took before the werewolf had to ask him any questions

He must have sailed through atleast the first ten all on his own and that really said something about how much he knew of Stiles

"Did you ever have chicken pox?"

"Nope,"

And then it began, the endless clipboard of questions that Stiles was pretty sure the hospital designed for the express purpose of weeding out the weak through natural selection

~+~

"Could you be pregnant?" Derek asked with a teasing smirk

"Only in fanfics," Stiles snorted

"...I'll put you down for a 'maybe',"

"Oh Stiles, what are you here for?"

Stiles grinned, looking over the side of the chair and smiling

"Heeeeey Mrs. McCall, I dislocated my shoulder... think you can help before the town is overrun by evil mermaids or something?"

"I'll see what I can do," she chuckled, waving them back into an exam room

"Thanks," Stiles smiled as Derek helped him up and escorted him back

"Ofcourse, just... try to keep the crazy down in the future, for your own health," she teased with a slight laugh

Stiles glanced at her, frowning

"Huh?"

"Well don't get me wrong, I was expecting this one day, I've known for years you two would end up together,"

His jaw hit the floor, she thought this was some kind of demented sex injuery!

"I fell in the shower!" he yelped as he jumped onto the exam table

"Oh that's not so bad, still be carefull though, and maybe next time keep some spare clothes at Derek's,"

Stiles felt his face begin to heat up

"I didn't-"

"Mom!" he turned his head, seeing Scott poking his head in with a bag of Chinese food and a goofy grin

"Gwen told me you were back here with Stiles, I came to drop off lunch," he paused, glancing at Stiles and hissing

"..... It's the middle of the day guys.... kind of early for the weird stuff...."

"We are not having sex!" Stiles shreiked

"I'm pretty sure you are," Scott chuckled

Stiles took a breath and glanced at Derek

"How much will it cost for you to kill me?"

"More than you can afford,"

~+~

People made the mistake of thinking that Stiles' dislocated shoulder was due to a bizarre Derek-related incident all day

Stiles only stopped caring when the pain killers and muscle relaxers kicked in and Derek had to take him home

"You're pretty," he giggled, reaching over and gently stroking Derek's face

Derek sighed, closing his eyes for a moment

"Thank you Stiles,"

"Uhhh-huhhh.... you know how people think we have sex? Like.... wooooooooohhoooooo kinky sex right? Why don't we do that? I bet we'd have fun, and like... pshhhhh.... mind is BLOWN..... not the only thing.... like..... yeah.... you an' me babe, consent club right in here, we'd be like 50 Shades Of Grey if 60 Shades Of Green was accurate and followed the rules ... we'd be so safe and so sane and like... consent club dude, and yet at the same time so ... ropey and stuff.... like.... you know like lemonade except chocolate you know? Except not crazy bad, like that book is really crazy bad but good crazy you know? Like.... like.... um...."

"Yes Stiles," he said absently, turning the engine off and getting out

He quickly helped Stiles out as well, foregoing the idea of Stiles walking on his own and instead carrying him to the house

"Your hair is so soft... an'it'smells like ...honey... oh my God... OH MY GOD!" he shouted in Derek's ear

The werewolf flinched, letting himself into the house, kicking the door behind him, and starting up the stairs

"Derek... Derek... oh my God Derek... you use Honey I'm Strong shampoo don't you!?"

Derek wasn't sure how Stiles knew that but it was a bit unnerving

"Duuuuuuuuudeeeeeeeeeee, did you KNOW I use Hydralicious? It smells like berries, do I smell like berries Derek? I like berries..."

"Yes you do,"

"Oh my God Derek you shampoo your beard don't you? Is that why it's so soft and smooth? I have never felt softer facial hair, I could take a nap in it," he decided to emphasis this by stroking Derek's facial hair as if it were some kind of pet

"You know Stiles that's not a bad idea, why don't you take a nap?" he suggested, carefully placing the other on his bed

"Nap.... I'm soooooo sleepy,"

"Good, then sl-"

"Sleep with me,"

"Stiles-"

"Deeeeeeereeeeekkkkk, sleeeeeeep with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I lost my teddy bear can you sleep with me instead? Do the thiiiiiiiiiiing!!!"

"Ok ok," he relented, crawling in bed and sighing, he just wanted Stiles to sleep...

"You know that Big Bang Theory song? Soft kitty.... you're like that only a woof instead of a mew mew..." he chuckled, closing his eyes and grinning

"Soft werewolf, warm werewolf, little ball of fur.... happy werewolf, sleepy werewolf, woof woof woof," he grinned

"Stiles that doesn't even rhyme,"

"Shut up I am the rhyme king, all the rhymes are belong to me, appreciate the power, I defeated the final boss, boooooom..."

Another pause

".....Right, good night Stiles," he said quickly

"Soft werewolf," he mumbled, snuggling Derek's back

"I love you... soft werewolf warm werewolf... fuzzy werewolf... sour werewolf...." he cooed, curling closer to Derek

Derek smiled softly, closing his eyes

"You too Stiles," he chuckled

"Woof woof woof..."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if this is pre-slash or not, could be established relationship if you want and they just haven't had done the do yet


End file.
